Hope Springs Eternal?

"The goalie jumps, and the players bump, and the fans all go insane"

     Spring is here in Toronto.  The snowbanks have begun to melt, uncovering long forgotten cigarette butts and a unreasonable amount of dog shit.  In other NHL cities, hockey fans are gearing up for the playoffs.  On-the-fence fans suddenly become die-hards, and people's allegiances take on a whole new level of insanity.  But not here.  Not in the Centre of the Universe.  This year's demise of the Leafs, perennial also-rans, has taken on a new feel of despair bordering on shame.  In a province that was once the economic engine of the nation, where Maritimer's migrated just to get a decent paying job so their kids could have some bologna to eat, we are left with little hope.  Leafs' fans everywhere are doing some deep soul searching about the Blue and White.  

  It's been about decade since the TML's had a decent playoff run, and in about that amount of time the provincial debt has effectively doubled to just under $300 billion.  This decade of demise has battered the soul of once proud fans from Oshawa to Thunder Bay, to the far reaches of Leaf Nation forgotten by condo-dwelling Toronto Elites.  In other economically battered cities, having a successful sports franchise is paramount to the cities identity, to it's cultural back bone and to it's pride.  Detroit, a bankrupt heap of memories, at least can count of the Red Wings to put some joy into spring.  Not so in Leaf Country.  The Buds have become something of a sideshow, and the bush league sports journalism in this city has not helped one iota.  Fans have, perhaps with good reason, thrown their once beloved jerseys onto the ice as a final act of frustration.

  Your average Leaf's fan likely doesn't give two flying hockey pucks about the state of the province's finances, likely because they are stuck dealing with their own.  The frustration with the Leafs seems to have been equalled by the frustration (and disgust) of Joe Public with Queen's Park.  Scandal after scandal, deficit increase after increase, they've given up on any facade of public accountability, with even the Mounties investigating the OPP in the latest display of Sun-cover worthy corruption.  Scandals have followed this province's government around like a dangerous ex-boyfriend, from E-Health to ORNGE, from gas plants to MARS.  But I digress.        

  In times like these, the province needs a decent hockey team to cushion the blow to the collective psyche, and no Ottawa, the Senators don't count.  At least if we had a successful hockey team it would be a worthwhile distraction to fiscal mess we're in, but that certainly wasn't the case this year.

  If nothing else, Leafs fans are incredibly loyal and eternally optimistic.  According to many of the die-hards, each new hockey season comes with hopes of the Parade down Yonge.  The best case scenario this year would be for them to tank fully completely and land a Messiah in the draft.  If only fixing our province's pathetic government was that easy.  At least hockey fans can hold out hope for next year.  Let's hope somebody turns things around, and soon. 

(source)

               

The GOAT for POTUS

"Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio, A nation turns its lonely eyes to you"

  
 The current apathy that Millennials, and to be honest, most of us have towards politics today cannot be overstated.  Voter turnout has dropped like a lead balloon over the past few decades and our "leaders" have never been more out of touch with reality and less befitting of the title.  In times like these, with the world powers slowly and surely beating the drums of war, central banks offering negative interest rates, global terrorism and Miley Cyrus, we need a steady hand on the wheel.  True leaders, not the pencil necked, corporate-speaking intellectuals that go on TV and tell us they have everything under control in Orwellian-doublespeak. 

 The days of the Dwight D. Eisenhower's and the JFK's are over, with vision and real leadership qualities as rare as a Dodo bird in the capitols of the world.  The fact that Americans gleefully voted in Uncle Barry in 2008 signified style over substance politics are now the norm and saw, in this writer's single-malt soaked opinion, the first celebrity president.  For someone who's job description might best be described as the most upper of managements, he was woefully inexperienced for the task and, quite frankly, it is showing.  The talent pool of corporate puppet J.D's who want nothing more than to live off the taxpayer while padding their resumes for a post-political career of $200k per talk speeches and the even more lucrative world of lobbying has shown to be as deep as a frisbee.  Perhaps we need to look to the wide world of sport for battle tested leaders. 

 If Jesse "I ain't got time to bleed" Ventura and Arnold can be governors of their respective states, I see no reason why Thomas Edward Patrick Brady Jr cannot be the POTUS.  His is without peer in the star factor category, has the stunning good looks to attract voters of both sexes and has reigned supreme over the last 15 years in the NFL.  Every Sabbath for the last decade and half, he has lead violent brutes onto the field and in the chess match/ballet that is the NFL, has come out on top far more times than not.  His back story of overcoming the depth charts at Michigan to being overlooked by NFL scouts and becoming a 6th round, 199th pick overall has built him a legacy that Joe Sixpack Americans hold as their nation's mythos.  Tom Brady could not be more of an American Icon if he tried.  His stupidly attractive wife and perpetual striving for sport immortality put him a class occupied by few.  His brain is his most finely tuned weapon, trained to make snap decisions in fractions of a second, while simultaneously avoiding being crippled by highly skilled and vicious men who's very pay cheque depend on stopping him from achieving his goal of victory.  I see this translating very well into the realm of politics. 

 He is a strategic mastermind, with the ability to look into the abyss of despair and come away with the all important W.  In short, he is vastly more qualified to lead men than most.  And lead he does.  4 Super Bowl rings, a near perfect season and the silence of virtually all his critics round out his, shall we say, impressive resume.  No stranger to adversity, his surgically repaired knee and easy demeanour at pressers would no doubt make him any political party's top candidate.  From lanky 4th string backup to the GOAT, the Oval Office could very well be his destination long after he is unanimously voted into Canton.

If we are to have leaders, let us have real leaders.  

             

(Source)